Thanksgiving was a bust. We were all trying not to acknowledge the absence of company, friendly traditions, and just general holiday joy that Thanksgiving sort of ushers in. But just like anything it came and we found ourselves heading to Falcos German Bar which we tried once in our first bit here. The pizza was the most western we'd been able to find and the general atmosphere is pretty western so in pitiful attempt to make the day special without any effort or planning we went there. We ate quietly but things turned into a general meltdown when we started talking about what we were grateful for.
What were we grateful for? Our simple apartment that in no way felt like home? Mom's job that takes her away from us physically and mentally sometimes? Were we grateful to be here in this strange new place surrounded by strange people who don't speak our language, who stare at us anytime we go out? Were we really supposed to feel grateful for this?! Of course, we have so much. And we knew we were blessed. But as we sat there in that empty restaurant dwelling on all the things we were missing and the people we loved who were watching football and eating turkey and basking in the laughter and light of a relaxing holiday. . . no matter how we tried to persuade ourselves of our undeniable blessings, we didn't want to feel grateful.
We left Falcos nauseated from the small mediocre pizzas and empty in our hearts. Somehow we found ourselves walking into McDonalds and some of us (not going to mention who) ordered food to go. There was an argument about something petty and then we headed for our not-homey house. A disconnected parade of disappointed storms wandering slowly back to what would remind them of the things they didn't have.
Reese locked himself in his room, Dad started working. It was pitiful and quiet. We tried talking and hesitantly tried to evoke some sort of holiday cheer. The day finally blurred into tomorrow and Thanksgiving was over. We carried on with life and the average joy of normality returned. December rolled in and the last few weeks have been comfortably exciting. Christmas has completely snuck up on us! The lack of nation wide anticipation is refreshing, decorations have been thrown up at some places around town. But it's small.
Thankfully we made plans with friends to celebrate. These people are becoming the closest thing we have to family here. And while we are thinking of beloved aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents back home the lonely void we felt a month ago has been filled with incredibly selfless people that have taken us in and made the season special.
On Saturday we went to visit patients at a Children's hospital with other members from the Branch. We handed out stuffed animals to terminally ill children. They were precious! It's funny that just looking the way we do makes us so admired. But it was nice to brighten their suffering. It was good to have an opportunity to serve like that. In the States I felt like there were always food drives and volunteer opportunities around this time of year but here they're not as common. It was a good way to get into the spirit of the season.
On Christmas Eve we went to the Mortensen's and enjoyed playing games and visiting. Christmas day started early because their boys get up before the sun. But it was so fun watching them open gifts from Santa. Cheer and laughter swirled about as we got ready for lunch.
We ate at the Sainsburys' apartment and more people came to join the celebration. We had our first tacos in 3 months! What used to be an almost weekly meal has become simply a longed for dream of the past. It's hard to find American food but its impossible to find Mexican. That was easily one of the best Christmas meals we've ever had. A friend from Kazakhstan made a traditional dish of potatoes, carrots, onion and horse meat that he wanted everyone to try. Although we were all stuffed to the rafters I managed to eat a few bites of the dish. It was really nice actually! I'm glad we had a chance to try it. (Also I tried not to think about my long history of adoration I have for those animals.)
We headed home in the afternoon to enjoy our own celebration and open gifts. And then we embarked on another adventure. Chinese massage. Mom has been dying to get a foot massage for weeks and Christmas was a good excuse. It ended up being about 20 dollars per person for 80 minutes. And it was so nice. Rather painful as well, but what a good experience!
Overall Christmas was great, we felt love and we gave love. There are some inescapable differences that come with being here. Wrapping paper is impossible to find, general Christmas cheer is lacking in the public atmosphere, and our decorations came up haphazardly a week before. There was a lot less pressure to buy, buy, buy and we were able to focus more on the true reason for the season. Living here, where knowledge of Christ isn't common (to say the least) and the holiday is only around for commercial gain has allowed us to let go of the typical fun festivities to really feel and understand the simple love and joy that Christmas time brings. It's not in the presents or the decorations (ha thank goodness!) or the food. Its about family and friends and finding joy in the most simple situations.
"Blessed is the season that engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love." —Hamilton Wright Mabel
"Hush, my child, be still; for we are going to see no ordinary royalty tonight, we are going to see the King of Kings, and Lord of Lords; and we will not find him surrounded by pomp or circumstance, but we will find him hanging out with cows, and as a babe lying in a manger; and his friends tonight, my child, are the sheep, and the ponies, and the horses; and when he gets a little older he will not think himself so noble or so important, that he cannot hang out with the lowest of the low, or the poorest of the poor. So bow the knee with me, my child, and let us be with the shepherds now tonight, and let us gaze for awhile on the one who was, and is, and always will be, our best friend, no matter where we are in life; the One and Only, King of Kings, and Lord of Lords, Jesus of Nazareth, Son of God, and Babe born in Bethlehem." —Aram Schmickrath