So we moved to China. Sure, thats big. I won't say what we're doing isn't insane maybe. We have all grown immeasurably over the last 3 months. We've learned a lot, the people we've met are SO great, and already we've made countless memories. Beautifully though there's always this quiet constant knowing that this is just the beginning and there's so much more ahead.
However when it comes down to it things are still just normal—a different China version of normal but the fundamentals of life are still here. We breathe, we eat, we fight, we laugh, we cry. Some of the same things stress us out but there are new things too. We've kept some traditions and habits (both bad and good) and different ones have developed. Little things we took for granted in the States bring us inexplicable joy now.
The last thing I want is to put out a false front about this whole experience. Social media is hard for me to manage without filtering. So I half heartedly apologize for the lack content and interaction on the Instagram platform, but I'd rather not post anything than spend effort and energy putting up fun and pretty content that isn't always authentic. It's something I need to change on a mental level. For now I'm going to focus on writing posts and taking photos. The lack of dopamine inducing feedback (likes & comments) actually makes this more gratifying. I write posts to enjoy the process of forming interesting thoughts and recording our experiences. And that's all.
Speaking of experiences I wanted to touch on what life is like for us on a more personal level.
Things that have been stressing us out lately:
Mom: "Well now that the Christmas party at my work is over hmmm. The other foreign teacher is leaving to Shanghai just as we finally found a good synergy. Teaching solo will take some getting used to. And balancing work and home is always a challenge."
Dad: "heh huh."
Julienne: I'm stressed about finishing the semester of online school. I would love to start finding some other extra curricular outlets but I know graduating high school is all I should be worrying about for now. :( I also have a low key job teaching English online in the evenings which gets a little annoying sometimes.
Reese: "Being confined in this tiny apartment. And school. Finishing half a semester of school in two weeks."
Audrey: "Ugh why does the world need to know what we're stressing about? Nothing! gosh."
Paige: "Not having good lunch at school. And all the swearing at school. And people being mean at school."
Random Details:
Sure, we're growing closer. But the above mentioned stresses have led to some arguments among us all. The last couple weeks Audrey and Paige have been going at it. They were getting ready for bed while bitterness and anger blew from their mouths like FIRE. Dad intervened and this golden interaction occurred:
Dad: "You guys are going at it like cats and dogs can you chill out for like five minutes?!"
Paige: "I call being the cat!"
Audrey: "NO! I'M THE CAT! You're the slobbery dog."
Now Dad's more careful about his choice of words and we laugh about it all the time. Speaking of dogs . . . I made a friend in a restaurant the other day!
She was a mangy thing. And picky too! What kind of stray dog doesn't eat roasted duck? Oh well. It's different seeing animals (both stray and spoiled pets) in public spaces, especially when they give you the death stare the entire time you eat.
Also, (and I've mentioned this in our Grocery Shopping post) the variety of plant based foods here is amazing! There are so many vegetables I had no idea existed.
But we still don't really cook much. Our āyí helped us make dumplings. Like twenty thousand dumplings. I thought my hands were going to fall off from wrapping them. But thankfully I survived and they're basically our go to meal/snack.
Hmm, life here is simple. We've gone out on a few outings to see parts of the astounding beauty of this country but for the most part we hangout at home, do our school work, and study Chinese.
But even Chinese is coming along at a very relaxed pace. Reese, Dad, and I stopped doing two hour daily study with our tutor. It was getting frustrating, her teaching style was hard to jive with. Now we practice pronunciation online and on the weekends join Chinese corner with other language learners.
Maybe we're forgetting the purpose for being here. If we really came to learn the language we should be MUCH more diligent about it. Investing time and money in tutors, classes, and online programs ought to be a no brainer. If we really came to learn the language we should be out on the town all the time, engaging in conversations and speaking, speaking, speaking! But we aren't doing that. Not at all. Maybe the "to learn the language" reason wasn't accurate at all. There were decent tutors in the U.S. and Audrey and Paige were being exposed and challenged with part time immersion at their elementary school. There's an ever growing population of native Chinese speakers in just about every major city in the States.
So why did we move to the other side of the world to learn Chinese?? Because. . . that's not why we came here. It can't be. To be completely honest with you, we have no idea why we're here. I guess for something more than we had back home. And yes we still refer to Utah as home. We miss it. We miss being able to walk into a restaurant and know exactly what will be served to us. We miss different colored hair, and English, and cereal, and iced beverages being normal. Salads and having a garbage disposal and real mattresses and a dryer. We miss the mountains and nature and fresh clean air. I could spend a long time thinking about the things we left. But that only makes it harder. So we focus on the challenging glory that this new life we've chosen and created for ourselves presents.
China isn't home yet. And maybe it won't ever be. We're living in an unwritten story. The plot line is vague. The characters are still being introduced. So far it's slow and emotionally draining. As it goes on we hope to be filled, but all in all we are so excited to live the rest of it.
"What I want is to open up. I want to know what's inside me. I want everybody to open up. I'm like an imbecile with a can opener in his hand, wondering where to begin...to open up the earth. I know that underneath the mess everything is marvelous. I'm sure of it." —Henry Miller